Christina 🌻

Yep …. That’s me.

Silly. Loving. Thinker. Unique. Introverted.

The name Joyfully Chrissy Lee was basically given to me.

I’m always described as Joyful so hence the first name Joyfully.

The Chrissy Lee came from one of the women that raised me (Grandma πŸ‘΅πŸΎ).

My legal name is Christina but many family members call me Chris or Chrissy.

One day my Grandma sang out my name as she called to me “Chrisssssyyyyyy Lee” and that’s how the name came to be. (Thanks Grandma πŸ’•).

I love to express and ✍🏾 allows me to do so.

I’ve always been introverted for as long as I can remember.

I love being around people and it does bring me Joy but I receive much more Joy when I get to be with self.

This blog site was started some time ago, so I have always written about my experiences and highs & lows of my Christian ✝️ walk of life but today I just wanted to give you guys & gals a snapshot of me.

Here’s 10 Random Facts About Me – I’ll try my best to give you guys something you don’t know from reading my Blogs. πŸ™ˆ

1. Born in January of 1985 – repping my Birthplace of Mt Vernon, NY.

2. A good ole pair of Chucks (Converse for those who are confused) are my go to πŸ‘Ÿ.

3. I have scars on both of my thumbs from sucking my thumbs πŸ‘πŸΎ – Yes I was a thumb sucker until the age of 13. πŸ™ˆ

4. My son and I have a Birthmark in the same place. It’s on our left knee.

5. I enjoy watching Football 🏈 and I’m a #NYJets fan! (Team Gang Green πŸ’š)

6. I’m lactose intolerant. (My 🚽 will agree)

7. I dance all the time when home alone. I’m talking about really dancing…. like shake a tail feather, salsa, wine and line dance. (In my head – I can truly bust a move πŸ’ƒπŸΎπŸ‘―β€β™€οΈπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™€οΈ) I absolutely LOVE music and its very much a strong part of my life.

8. I value my Family, My Friends and All those closest to me but I need to do a better job of showing I do πŸ™πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ.

8 Plus – I’m loyal to a fault. πŸ˜”

9. I love strawberries πŸ“, watermelon πŸ‰ and Cortland Apples 🍎.

10. Behind my smile is a story you would never truly understand.

Bonus – I tend to use a heavy dose of sarcasm when pissed off.

There it goes! A little over 10 facts about me.

After sharing all of that – I feel a hell of exhausted 😩 and need to go back to my shell – Away from the Digital World.

Logging Off Until Next Time

Signed with JOY,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee 🌻

P.S. If you would like to purchase the hoodie in my photo. I purchased it from www.kingdomnative.com

You’ll get 10% off of your 1st order.

P.S.S. No I wasn’t paid to promote them. πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ Just wanted to show them some love and get you some dope Christian apparel.

The Good Fight πŸ₯Š

Ever watched a Boxing πŸ₯Š Match?

Ever seen the one who seems that they will end up losing because they are beat to a pulp?

Eyes Swollen Closed, Face Beat Up, Blood Dripping Down Their Face.

…. Just looking defeated

Overwhelmed

Beat Up

&

Broken down

Each punch they receive breaks them more and more.

That was me ….. completely beaten down before I decided to make the decision to yield to God and his will for my life.

I allowed the enemy to beat me to a pulp and I must say all of this happened post being saved …. yes that means during my journey with Christ.

This battle occurred after I received Christ in my β™₯️ & after being baptized.

I was fighting his will and consistently attending β›ͺ️, running a women’s group at β›ͺ️, facilitating classes for new Christians and New Church Members ….. yep.

▢️ Sorry to burst your bubble if you believe being a Christian is easy πŸ™ˆ. ◀️

The war was on all while doing work for the kingdom. ✝️

I mean I received a good beating and this beating lasted over a period of time …. days …. months …. heck years to be exact. πŸ€”

It was a never ending tussle between my way and his way.

Blame it on my feelings. Blame it on my flesh. Blame it on my stubbornness. The point of blame is null and void.

On the surface – I looked Good & Poised – as if I was at peace within.

Peace was so foreign to me.

My spirit was restless and unsettled and so was my mind.

That’s how our spirits and minds are when we fight.

Picture The Match

πŸ‘€ –

We have Michael Buffer announcing “On my right, I have Christina’s Will & Way standing tall at 5’8, stubborn and unwilling to yield because she wants to do what she wants to do.

“On my left, we have God’s Will standing Mighty & Strong with Mercy and Grace ready to fight the good fight.

I felt like Drago from Rocky IV was in front of me saying: “I must break you.”

Then He Yells – “Lets get ready to rummmmbbblllleeeeeeeee!” πŸ₯ŠπŸ₯ŠπŸ₯ŠπŸ₯Š

Fast Forward to the end and I’m literally laid out on the floor with a White Flag 🏳 (I know there’s no white flag in boxing but you get what I’m saying). πŸ˜†

I was in total submission. Tired of fighting.

Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek his wills and ways.

Jesus submitted to God’s will, suffered badly but did overcome. πŸ’ͺ🏾

The same goes for us. There is a suffering but we do overcome.

Always remember that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who ❀️ God. (Romans 8:28) πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

So take some advice from me ….. and just yield and let God have his way. 😩

Let him use YOU ….. your personality, your gifts and your talents to help others.

Let him use you for his plan.

& for the control freaks out there; we may not know the specifics of the plan but I’m pretty certain you will be helping those in need.

We weren’t created to just live life for us. We were created to serve and bring Glory to the Father and his Kingdom.

I write to you as a flawed Christian with many blemishes that I have acquired along the way.

I also write to you from experiences….. past and present.

Try living for him …. I’m certain you won’t regret it. πŸ˜‰

Humbled By His Grace & Mercy,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee 🌻

The Joy of the Lord will Always Be My Strength πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

Introverted to a Fault πŸ˜©

I TRULY ENJOY TIME TO MYSELF!!!!

Let me say that again – I truly enjoy time to myself.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with that but I’ve had to advocate that very statement quite often. (I’ll elaborate later on πŸ˜‰)

I believe I actually crave for “time with self.”

My quiet time is so important to my sense of well being.

Now – Let this be known – I enjoy social gatherings and I do pop out of my 🐒 shell from time to time but there’s a sense of peace that I receive when I take some me time.

Announcement ‼️ There was a time where my introverted traits kept me in a low place in life and that’s where the title of this Blog comes in – Introverted to a fault. πŸ˜‘

If you have read my previous Blogs (which if you haven’t; you should & while you’re there just make sure you subscribe πŸ˜‰) – Cheesy Plug – then you would know that I had my bouts with Depression.

Being introverted and being in a depressive state is not a good mix.

Why? (You May ask and even if you didn’t I will explain)

Introverts think πŸ€” often. We can internalize our feelings and moods because we are pretty much inward people. Remember – we like alone time; so imagine alone time mixed in with overthinking and juggling your emotions?! That’s not a healthy blend of soup but I was sipping that lonesome 🍲 for quite some time.

I would have these seasons of low points and when my friends would inquire, I would pull out my “Girl, you know I need my me time!” excuse.

I would use my introverted nature to cover up my depression. Now that I think back at those moments, it was such a dumb thing to do because I truly believe my friends knew I was lying. πŸ€₯

As I am writing this I must say; it truly feels good to be speaking about depression in past tense. It’s been quite a journey and it feels so good to finally be at peace with my many thoughts and emotions.

So I close this Blog with a couple of things.

1. I’m still very much an introvert and I love that I am comfortable being alone to recharge but I am well aware that social interaction is good, healthy and needed. For those who helped me come out of my introverted shell – THANK YOU ☺️

2. Being an introvert and being depressed are two different things but if blended together can be very unhealthy. If you are currently struggling don’t be afraid to tell someone. There are people to help you in your journey of finding peace✌🏾. My help came through expressing my feelings, praying, acknowledging I needed help and then seeking help.

3. There are pros of being introverted. I believe we are very self-aware, thoughtful (because we think too darn much) and we overall learn well through observing ( since we always find a quiet place to pull away lol)

Lastly, it’s been a while since I last Blogged – so to my subscribers which I love so so so much – My sincerest apologies and I will do better. ❀️

Signed with JOY πŸŒ»πŸ’«,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee

P.S. —> For those who need assistance on their journey to having a peace of mind; feel free to check out some good reads about Mental Health Awareness . ⬅️ (Not a paid plug but this definitely helped me) πŸ™‚

Mind Over Mind

August 26th, 2017

7:21am

Kissimmee, FL

The day after Universal Studios – Orlando Florida.

I was pooped.

I walked into the living room …

And there he was;

My handsome, too smart for his own good, silly, loving 10 year old (Now 11 Year Old) was fast asleep.

He was pooped too.

Amusement parks can suck all the energy from you. 😣

I sat down in the bed and just stared at him.

I skipped down the memory lane of motherhood – boy did I have some ups and downs.

I thanked God for blessing me with the “Gift of Motherhood” and asked that he continue to hold my hand along the way.

I dwelled in my positive thoughts and then this mind of mine decided to go left. πŸ˜”

Ugh …. the frustrations of being a thinker. I mean really being a thinker. (As I’m writing this, I’m thinking about work, the political climate in the U.S., losing weight and how to keep myself from eating this Twinkie staring at me.) πŸ’­πŸ’­

END THOUGHT – BACK TO WHERE WE LEFT OFF FROM ☝️🏽

You’re in a nice place of positive thinking and then the negative clouds tries to creep in. 🀐

I replayed some moments where I could have done something differently …. beat myself up because I missed my son’s 1st word and his 1st step because I was at work. I questioned if I work too much. Rationalizing about how I can be a better mother …. And then the big one …. the thought I try to avoid creeps in:

Why didn’t I conceive again after having J.C.?!

Did I put my career 1st?

Why did I go back and forth between wanting to have another?

Why couldn’t I conceive when I tried?!

Am I only meant to have 1 child?!

Have I fulfilled my purpose as a mother of 1?

Ugh …. I hate going there…. emotionally ….. mentally…. that question just drains me.

I dwelled there a little.

Trying to rationalize things that can’t be rationalized in life – not without driving yourself Crazy.

What is wrong with my body?

Why ……

And then a sudden jolt of reality hit me.

Literally.

My son kicked me in my upper thigh as he changed positions in bed.

As I rubbed my thigh, I chuckled and looked up.

“Thank You Lord.” (As a baby πŸ‘ΆπŸΎ, J.C. would kick the heck out of me while he was in my womb.)

I guess he knew I was going down a dark path that would lead me to a pool of sadness in thoughts.

I looked at J.C. and thanked him too.

He has a way of always getting me back to where I need to be. … And this happens all too often. Lol πŸ™ˆ

Mentally… I got back to where I needed to be.

Thanking God for being a mother of 2 – my 1 Biological Child and also my son from my previous marriage who is beginning his 1st year of College in VA.

I thanked God for children – My God Daughter, Step Children, Nieces and Nephews as well as adoptive Children from work – that he placed in my life.

I began to feel more at peace.

The package of motherhood comes in many forms.

Children come in many forms and don’t just have to be yours by D.N.A.

I’m thankful for all that I have and all that I will have in the future.

Sometimes we are in a good place and then let the enemy come in and do a 360 and it starts with our thoughts.

Remain thankful and always try your best to focus on the good.

There are so many miracles in our life if we just meditate on them and stay there; our positive and humble thoughts can keep us in a positive mode for a long time .

Don’t allow the devil to distort your thoughts and take you down a dark path .

Keep your mind in a food place. Keep your thoughts positive.

Ending on a positive note,

Signed with JOY,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸ’«πŸŒ»

Stay Positive. Stay Joyful.

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

I miss you πŸ˜’

Grieving sucks ….. Grieving a loved one sucks more.

The setting is Saint Joseph’s Hospital Emergency Room.

Loved ones surround each other crying, grieving, trying to find the best way to cope.

But what is the best way to cope? How the hell do you cope with losing someone you just saw?! Someone you just talked to?! No one was prepared?

Ugh …. the surprises in life that leave you feeling like it just smacked the crap out of you.

As I was in the emergency room … I saw many others …. many living others. Some had wounds that needed to be attended to. Some were weak and needed rest and medicine to get them to a better place. Their families and friends were there to help see them through.

That wasn’t the same story for us. A mother, brothers, sisters, a niece and friends all gathered around in that dark hospital room crying and consoling each other because unlike the other patients…. you weren’t leaving.

We cried tears that could fill an ocean. It just sucks knowing you wouldn’t be leaving the hospital like the others.

Damn …. Life is just so flipping unfair.

Through tears I had to fight off anger to things I didn’t and don’t understand.

The infamous question of “Why” has no reason to entertain other than burying me in a deep level of philosophical insanity and depression.

Ugh …. I want to scream. Punch something or someone. Tell the other person in the hospital bed … “man up …. you are walking out if here today…..”

But

That would be unkind. Un-Compassionate.

So I remained silent.

I spent my last few minutes in the hospital room with your youngest sister as they removed your personal belongings …. Dag … you have a whole lot of jewelry . LOL

The Nurses were undressing you and were waiting to place you in that stupid plastic bag with the stupid zipper down the middle.

One of them was singing. He was new on the job and told me he needed to sing because he was sad. His singing gave me comfort.

I looked at you laying on the table. Your dreads were so long they were hanging to the floor.

I held your hand ….. it was still warm …. and then I looked at you.

You looked like you were sleeping. You looked like you were at peace …..

And then

I saw the most beautiful thing.

A single Caterpillar laying on your hair. It was cute and fuzzy and seemed like it found a beautiful resting place …. You.

I knew it was symbolic and I googled the meaning of a Caterpillar.

This is what I found: A caterpillar symbolizes a great change. They go into a cocoon stage and then morph into something different – A Beautiful Butterfly. πŸ¦‹

Then it hit me and I was overwhelmed by God’s peace.

Donnita my love, you are in your cocoon stage …. sleeping …. resting and soon to be with our Creator.

As I sit here with tears streaming down my eyes on the bathroom floor …. I rest in God’s peace …. knowing you will be …. knowing you are in a better place.

I love you.

I miss you.

Til we meet again.

Love,

Christina

P.S. Thank You for loving me, understanding me and always treating me with love …. In Spite of. ❀

A Letter to My Son β€

Dear J.C.,
I am flawed in many ways baby. I am imperfect, made a whole lot of mistakes in life, still learning and growing to be a better person all while being your mother. 

You see, once the clock (⏰) of motherhood started ticking on December 1st, 2006, it will continue to tick, until the end of time. So you have this woman who is still on a journey of learning as Mommy for life.

While pregnant at the young age of 21, I thought about what kind of mother I would be to you. I had some training of caring for a baby when my mother gave birth to your Uncle when I was 16 but that wasn’t motherhood. 
I have my Mom and Grandma to glean on, I have books I could read, I have my Auntie Dianne & your Auntie Chrissy, Auntie Lauren or Auntie Tiara who are phenomenal mothers but sometimes I still feel lost.

Sometimes I have my “Christina, what the heck are you doing?” moments. πŸ™‡πŸ™…

Yes J.C., sometimes Mommy is just lost on this adventure of Motherhood.😣

There is no real handbook for raising you kiddo; at least I thought there wasn’t.  

You see that book that you are holding in the picture above; that Good Book which many call the Bible is my go to for life’s answers including motherhood. 

When I am lost, confused, need answers about anything ….including motherhood, I search it for answers. 

My desire is for you to do the same. Yes, you will have friends and family members to guide you along the way, but you will get to a point where you need more than advice…. you need wisdom, and my dear son, The Bible has all the wisdom, knowledge and answers you need.

I may fail you baby. Mommy doesn’t have all the answers. I’m still learning along the way, but I promise to do my very best with you. 

You will excel in all things because you have a praying Mother. 

You will escape some of life’s pitfalls because you have a praying Mother.

You will get through some very difficult moments in your life, because Mommy knows how to apply the word of God to your life …. teaching you to do the same.

I love you with all of my being Jonathan Christian. You my Love, give me so much Joy. 

I enjoy our talks. I enjoy our silly moments of dancing around the house. I enjoy your many questions about whatever pops up in your head. You have made life so enjoyable and I thank God for you. 

I want you to pursue your hearts desires. Nothing is too big for you to achieve. I will push you to do your very best and probably annoy you along the way 

But

Everything I do, will be because I love you and want the very best for you. 

Signed with Joy & Love,

Mommy ❀

… and so, she decided to start living the life she’d imagined…

If you can. If you will. I want you to sit down and meditate on this following question:
Are YOU living YOUR life for you? 

…. heavy question huh? No worries, take as much time as you need and let that question sink in.

 This blog will be here when you return.

If the question to the answer is YES, I applaud you. Congratulations. You’re ahead of the game in some ways.

If your answer is No. Let’s talk. πŸ˜’

Don’t worry or beat yourself up for answering no. That was my answer for many years and I am still a work in progress …. this is a new way of life for me, so it’s taking some time of getting used to. 

…………………. ………………… ……………

⚠ Caution and Whoa to the Philosophical Ones with the following arguments:

How can you live YOUR LIFE for YOU when you have children? 

How can you live your life for you when you are married?

How can you live your life for you as a Christian? Aren’t you supposed to be living your life for Jesus? 

You can never really live life for you because you are connected to others so therefore your life effects others so you can’t just live life for you.

For all the Socrates & Aristotles of the world …. I applaud your way of thinking πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Great Job! ….. but there is a simple response to your way of thinking. 

…………………………………………………..

Here’s a simple response: You start living YOUR life for YOU when you start taking care of self and when you make a certain decision to live life for YOU. 

You have to learn to put your Happiness at the Center. Key word YOUR happiness. If your life decisions are for someone else, to appease someone else, to feel accepted by someone else …. then you definitely are not living your life for you.

You are a humble slave to living a life for others. 

For those who answered No. I pose the following question: Who are you living your life for? Are you happy living your life that way? 

I’m coming from a perspective of a person that battled with rejection for most of her life so she went through life appeasing and accommodating everyone else except herself so she would be accepted. 

Yep. I’m talking about no other than …. Drum Roll Please : ME 

I will admit. You have to sort through some stuff and find some kind of balance

BUT

If you solely base your decisions on the thoughts and approval of others you’ll never truly be happy. 😒

Everything boils down to one word:

Decision 

You can decide to live for you or you can decide to live for them. 

Whatever you decide should make you feel at peace within . If you have made a decision that has you internally in turmoil . .. then rethink that decision. True happiness can not co-exist with turmoil.

If you are in a place in your life when you feel conflicted I lovingly admonish you to look deep within yourself and the direction of your life and decide today to make a change and do something that goes towards your Happiness.

I write this with love. 

I write this with peace.

My #Joy and My #Happiness started to come when I chose to break free of living to appease others and decided to make decisions to live for Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸŒ»πŸ’«

Signed with Joy,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸŒ»πŸ’«

P.S. I will leave one of my favorite scriptures with you :

Matthew 6:33King James Version (KJV)

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

All “these things” (mentioned above) include – Happiness and Joy πŸ˜‰

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻Message from your fellow Blogger (Me 😊)

I have not fully returned to the Social Media world yet, so that means no Facebook, Twitter or Instagram for a bit longer.

Feel free to subscribe to my blog so you can receive an email as soon as a new Blog is published. 

Live Life with Joy – Joyfully Chrissy Lee 

Writing the Pain Away ….

Growing up, I was forced to suppress the bad emotions. I didn’t grow up in an environment where expressing sadness or hurt was the norm.

I was raised to walk with my head held high, smiling, giving the world the impression that all was well. 

In reality, all was not well ….. There were times I was hurting . . . πŸ˜”

But 

The world could not EVER know that.

After speaking and sharing this part of my life with others, I learned I was not alone. 

Many others were raised with the following concept to smile during the storms of life or to keep it to yourself bottled up inside. πŸ˜ŠπŸ™ƒπŸ™

In some ways this is unhealthy if not managed correctly.

🚩 Caution: Random Thought Time 🚩Listen – Although I blog about some deep stuff and share some aspects of self, I am very much private and do not like to give too much of self; but I have learned that sharing of self, my life and downfalls can be a testimony for another. 🚩Random Thought Time Ended 🚩

Pain, Hurt, Suffering and Sadness are all natural. 

Talking about Pain, Hurt, Suffering and Sadness are natural too.

Last week, I was studying and came across the following scripture: 

β€œI cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain.

Job 7:11 NLT

The scripture spoke loud in volumes to me. It speaks to Job 1. acknowledging his pain and 2. Speaking about it. Sometimes we belittle what we are going through. Pain, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional is natural but it doesn’t have to overtake you. 

If you are hurting, acknowledge it and acknowledge the source of it. 

If you are hurting, talk about your pain with God and you can also follow up with someone who you can trust and know is a safe place for your emotions. 

If you are hurting, learn to take authority over what you are experiencing 

And lastly, if you are hurting; learn to express. Emotions were made to flow … so let even the sad ones flow …. freely. 

Once Signed With Sorrow …. Now Signed with Joy,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸ’«πŸŒ»

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for all of my emotions including sadness and pain. Today I ask you to help me cope when I am not feeling good. Place people in my life that will help me get through during my times of need. May you help me get through the Pain that I feel. May you teach me to learn and grow through my Pain. Lord, I need you now and I know there is healing of my mind and emotions through you. May my mind be at Peace. 

In Jesus name, Amen. πŸ™

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