Don’t be like β€œAtlas” πŸŒ

There’s a very old building that used to be a Health Spa in Scarsdale, NY.

It was called the European Health Spa.

It’s such an eye sore in such a beautiful town.

Broken Windows

Abandoned

Patched up with Cheap Wood

The building stands tall but alone. πŸ˜”

That was me not long ago.

I was a broken woman. An emotional wreck. Unknowing of who I was or my purpose in life.

I felt abandoned by loved ones and to a certain extent, I abandoned myself. I let myself go and didn’t care about taking care of me (my mental, spiritual and emotional being).

I would patch myself up by finding ways to avoid issues, conflicts and things that really needed to be addressed.

I stood tall and strong to others but felt very much alone & abandoned.

Just like the building.

I passed it as I was driving to my appointment at the European Wax Center in Yonkers and came across this building on Central Park Avenue. (BTW Nel is the absolute BEST Esthetician ever!) Book her @ https://www.waxcenter.com/ny-yonkers

⬆️ (Unpaid Plug – But the more You read my Blogs you’ll learn that I love to celebrate, praise πŸ™ŒπŸΎ & promote others; just because πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ)

This sounds crazy but out of all the business’ on Central Park Avenue ( & there are many); I felt like this building called out to me – as if it wanted to be noticed.

I made a (legal) U-Turn πŸ™ˆ and pulled into the parking lot.

I got out of my car and literally just stared at the building.

I could see what it once was – a beautiful building that probably received a lot of attention. The structure is absolutely stunning and in the front of the building is a statue of Atlas (a Titan God in Greek Mythology).

Just to give you my quick Blip about Atlas. He was at war with Zeus (Greek God) & after his defeat, he was condemned to carry the sky/heavens on his shoulders. πŸ˜” Talk about a harsh punishment.

I remember when I felt like I had the weight of the world 🌍 on my shoulders.

I was so weighed down by my issues ( & there were many). My view of self was so skewed.

I was the beat up & abandoned building. πŸ€•

I can tell you how I got there.

I isolated from my friends, family and God.

I was attending Church β›ͺ, but I was just there as a seat warmer. I didn’t receive anything because I was so blinded by my issues & I wasn’t open to receiving anything.

As time progressed I tried to patch myself up by simply avoiding things that I needed to deal with head on.

Using 4 Christian ✝️ cliche words, I can tell you how I matured into the woman I am now. I learned to “Let Go, & Let God!” Welp, that’s really 5 words but let’s focus on the 4. πŸ˜‰

When you “Let Go”, you stop giving all of your energy to worrying, fretting and stressing a situation or an issue.

When you “Let God”, you invite him in & put all your worries, frets and stresses to him because unlike Atlas – he is strong enough to bare them. ( Don’t believe me?! Read Psalm 55:22 & Matthew 11:28-30)

If Atlas could hand over the weight to someone he would be able to rest.

There are many of you trying to be Atlas … trying to be God

But

You aren’t strong enough to do that

&

You never will be.

Trust Me – I’m speaking from experience. πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

Learn to hand over all of the things that are weighing you down to be handled by God.

Don’t be like the broken and abandoned building 🏚 that everyone passes by.

Allow God to build you up so you can mature and grow into the man πŸ‘¨ / woman πŸ‘© that he called you to be.

YOU & I are a BEAUTIFUL creations carefully crafted by God.

You & I can be built up and restored again.

All you have to do is invite God in & let him do his thing.

Again I say – Trust Me – I’m speaking from experience.

Praying for whoever needs to be restored & believing that you will! πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

Signed with so much Love & Of Course JOY,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸŒ»πŸ’«

Prayer – Lord, I come before you today on behalf of every Broken person. I ask that you give them the strength to speak up and ask for help from you and wise counsel. May they learn to go to you when they are feeling broken because your word says you will hold their hand and help them. (Isaiah 41:13) I cry out to you Lord and ask you to deliver them out of their troubles. (Psalms 34:17)

Now I thank you and praise you for their healing.

In Jesus Name,

Amen πŸ™πŸ½

Introverted to a Fault πŸ˜©

I TRULY ENJOY TIME TO MYSELF!!!!

Let me say that again – I truly enjoy time to myself.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with that but I’ve had to advocate that very statement quite often. (I’ll elaborate later on πŸ˜‰)

I believe I actually crave for “time with self.”

My quiet time is so important to my sense of well being.

Now – Let this be known – I enjoy social gatherings and I do pop out of my 🐒 shell from time to time but there’s a sense of peace that I receive when I take some me time.

Announcement ‼️ There was a time where my introverted traits kept me in a low place in life and that’s where the title of this Blog comes in – Introverted to a fault. πŸ˜‘

If you have read my previous Blogs (which if you haven’t; you should & while you’re there just make sure you subscribe πŸ˜‰) – Cheesy Plug – then you would know that I had my bouts with Depression.

Being introverted and being in a depressive state is not a good mix.

Why? (You May ask and even if you didn’t I will explain)

Introverts think πŸ€” often. We can internalize our feelings and moods because we are pretty much inward people. Remember – we like alone time; so imagine alone time mixed in with overthinking and juggling your emotions?! That’s not a healthy blend of soup but I was sipping that lonesome 🍲 for quite some time.

I would have these seasons of low points and when my friends would inquire, I would pull out my “Girl, you know I need my me time!” excuse.

I would use my introverted nature to cover up my depression. Now that I think back at those moments, it was such a dumb thing to do because I truly believe my friends knew I was lying. πŸ€₯

As I am writing this I must say; it truly feels good to be speaking about depression in past tense. It’s been quite a journey and it feels so good to finally be at peace with my many thoughts and emotions.

So I close this Blog with a couple of things.

1. I’m still very much an introvert and I love that I am comfortable being alone to recharge but I am well aware that social interaction is good, healthy and needed. For those who helped me come out of my introverted shell – THANK YOU ☺️

2. Being an introvert and being depressed are two different things but if blended together can be very unhealthy. If you are currently struggling don’t be afraid to tell someone. There are people to help you in your journey of finding peace✌🏾. My help came through expressing my feelings, praying, acknowledging I needed help and then seeking help.

3. There are pros of being introverted. I believe we are very self-aware, thoughtful (because we think too darn much) and we overall learn well through observing ( since we always find a quiet place to pull away lol)

Lastly, it’s been a while since I last Blogged – so to my subscribers which I love so so so much – My sincerest apologies and I will do better. ❀️

Signed with JOY πŸŒ»πŸ’«,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee

P.S. —> For those who need assistance on their journey to having a peace of mind; feel free to check out some good reads about Mental Health Awareness . ⬅️ (Not a paid plug but this definitely helped me) πŸ™‚

Writing the Pain Away ….

Growing up, I was forced to suppress the bad emotions. I didn’t grow up in an environment where expressing sadness or hurt was the norm.

I was raised to walk with my head held high, smiling, giving the world the impression that all was well. 

In reality, all was not well ….. There were times I was hurting . . . πŸ˜”

But 

The world could not EVER know that.

After speaking and sharing this part of my life with others, I learned I was not alone. 

Many others were raised with the following concept to smile during the storms of life or to keep it to yourself bottled up inside. πŸ˜ŠπŸ™ƒπŸ™

In some ways this is unhealthy if not managed correctly.

🚩 Caution: Random Thought Time 🚩Listen – Although I blog about some deep stuff and share some aspects of self, I am very much private and do not like to give too much of self; but I have learned that sharing of self, my life and downfalls can be a testimony for another. 🚩Random Thought Time Ended 🚩

Pain, Hurt, Suffering and Sadness are all natural. 

Talking about Pain, Hurt, Suffering and Sadness are natural too.

Last week, I was studying and came across the following scripture: 

β€œI cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain.

Job 7:11 NLT

The scripture spoke loud in volumes to me. It speaks to Job 1. acknowledging his pain and 2. Speaking about it. Sometimes we belittle what we are going through. Pain, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional is natural but it doesn’t have to overtake you. 

If you are hurting, acknowledge it and acknowledge the source of it. 

If you are hurting, talk about your pain with God and you can also follow up with someone who you can trust and know is a safe place for your emotions. 

If you are hurting, learn to take authority over what you are experiencing 

And lastly, if you are hurting; learn to express. Emotions were made to flow … so let even the sad ones flow …. freely. 

Once Signed With Sorrow …. Now Signed with Joy,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸ’«πŸŒ»

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for all of my emotions including sadness and pain. Today I ask you to help me cope when I am not feeling good. Place people in my life that will help me get through during my times of need. May you help me get through the Pain that I feel. May you teach me to learn and grow through my Pain. Lord, I need you now and I know there is healing of my mind and emotions through you. May my mind be at Peace. 

In Jesus name, Amen. πŸ™

Above It All …

This past October, I boarded a #jetBlue flight from J.F.K. to Buffalo Niagara Airport. The trip was very much last minute but very much needed. 

I needed to be in a place where I was “above it all;” and I mean literally “above it all.” What better place to be in, then a comfy and clean airplane. ✈

πŸ”˜ Now please note ….I am not purposely trying to plug jetBlue but I have and will always shout out any good company that promotes “Exceptional Customer Service.” πŸ”˜

BTW . .. I just rambled …. and I do tend to do that at times … but just stay with me as I wheel myself back in. lol πŸ™ƒβ˜Ί

As I was saying before, I went off on a  tangent😏 : I needed to be in a place where I was above “it” all. 

What was the “it?” 

Let me explain …. 

My life was on Turbo Mode. Everything was moving so fast and I was becoming inundated by some of the nonsense occurring in my life. I was trying to fix everything and trying to be everything for everyone. I was abusing myself emotionally and mentally. I was focusing on faults and flaws and in October 2016, I came to terms that I was putting myself in an unhealthy state of mind. 

———————————-

🚩 Note: If you can’t tell by my previous blogs; I am a work in progress and on an journey to obtaining “Inner #Peace .” I mean the real peace of God that surpasses all natural understanding.

———————————-

As I was in the air, riding through the clouds, I looked out the window, exhaled and thought “It feels so darn good to be above it all.” 

I stared down below. I couldn’t see what was below me because I was too far up but there was a lot of things below me:

My past struggles or mistakes 

Relationship Issues 

Financial Issues 

Stressors from Work 

Etc. Etc. Etc.

As I was up high, above it all …. I couldn’t focus on the things below me and out of my sight. I could only focus on what was before me. 

In this moment, God spoke to me.

“Yes Christina, you have flaws. Yes, you are going through some things. Everyone does, but you need to find #Joy in this moment and find the #Joyful things occurring in your life.

You need to be still and let me be God and work out some things for you.”

You see, everything boils down to perspective . I could have chosen to focus on the things below that I could not see or choose to focus on what was outside the small airplane window. 

Clouds …. β˜β˜πŸŒ«β›…β›…

Beautiful Clouds, which to me, symbolized #Peace , #Beauty and #Calmness 

I made the conscious decision to change my perspective and focus on the beauty in my life.

I think we all need to do that …. look away from our faults. Look away from our weaknesses. Look away from the Stressors in life.

 We become what we focus on. 

What are you choosing to focus on?

Let’s choose today, to refocus our lives. Let’s choose to change our perspective on things. Let’s choose today, to not get distracted by the negatives but get attracted to the positives in our life because if we look real good; we have many positive things to Thank God for. 

Lastly, let’s choose today to live and dwell “above it all.”

Don’t go through life being against yourself. Go through life being your best and biggest supporter. 

Signed with Joy,

Joyfully Chrissy Lee πŸ’«πŸŒ» 

 

STOP HIDING – YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES . . .

Mistake

STOP

Just STOP . . . Please Stop

Beating yourself up about things that have occurred in the past.

YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE . . . YOU ARE WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME.

Sure, we all have some periods of our life where we are not proud of. Some periods where we really shake our heads and say “___________ (<—-Insert your name) What were you thinking?” Those moments are for the most part okay as long as you don’t dwell there too much and beat yourself up on the “Could of, Should of, Would of walk of shame.”

Replay those periods of life which you are not proud of to learn from them. Replay those moments of life and share with someone who is in need. (pssss . . . btw . . .  use wisdom when sharing and if you don’t feel you are wise, ask God for wisdom …. See James 1:5)

I am a true believer that we don’t go through things in life just for us but for others; that our lives are testimonies for others. There are people in the world that are desperately seeking to know that someone has “been there and done that too.” People connect with other people that they feel like they are relatable to.

Have you ever shared something and had the other person say “You’ve been through that too?” or maybe they have that surprised look on their face that says that but they don’t come out and say it.

Some of you reading this may have a really dark past, but I want you to focus on the word past. Whatever you have done is done, there is no time machine that exist that will take you back in time to undo what has happened . . .  so pull up your big boy/girl pants; accept that it (whatever it may be) has occurred, learn from it and take steps to move on

&

keep in mind . . . PLEASE keep in mind – that NO ONE . . . . I MEAN NO ONE is perfect or sinless. Don’t believe me?! (Read Romans 3:23)

My hope is that after reading this you are feeling better about your past. My hope is that after reading this you will feel unashamed of where you have been and confident in who you have become. My hope is that one day, you will share something with another in need and that person will receive the breakthrough they need to get them out of their rut.

My HOPE is that after reading this that you will love yourself more, condemn yourself less and see you how God sees you “BEAUTIFUL WITH NO FLAWS “ (Song of Solomon 4:7).

Signed with Joy,

JOYFULLY CHRISSY LEE

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for my past. I thank you for the lessons learned along the way. I am blessed because of my lessons in life and will be a blessing to others. Thank You for the forgiveness of my sins and for your grace and mercy. I will no longer condemn myself because I know I find freedom in YOU. In Jesus name, AMEN.

My Very 1st True Love . . .

So let it be written

If I never have the opportunity to write again, I would probably go insane.

Writing is my means to everything. It is my freedom in a sometimes not so free world. It is my release when my mind is on overload. It is my expression when I need to express. It is my “common sense” when my spoken words and ideas do not make sense; and as clichΓ© as this next sentence is; Writing is my antidote when I’m debilitated by the struggles of life.

Most of the time, writing keeps me out of trouble….and it allows me to be silent (verbally) on matters while I write, express, analyze and put things in perspective.

There have been several joyous things that have occurred in my life. Not suprisingly, there have also been some grave things that have occurred in my life; but through it all, I would always feel better after putting my thoughts on paper . . .  well better yet on some electronic device (It’s 2016 for heaven’s sake LOL). So I would lovingly encourage you to do the same for no one but YOU.

Everything that occurs to you is not meant for you to share with everyone. Sharing, your thoughts, your experiences, your hurts and pains, your joys and happiness, etc. etc. & etc. gives people access to some parts of you that you very well may not have been ready to share: the parts that may leave you feeling uncovered and vulnerable; and that is okay as long as you share with someone you are fully comfortable being vulnerable around ( for many different reasons that I won’t list right now . . . (subscribe to my blog if you really want to know <—— Yes that was a cheesy plug ).

I’m back in my pensive mood  . . . . FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE READING BELOW.    πŸ™‚

This could also be applied to writing if you are writing and putting your expressions (feelings, thoughts, ideas)  in someone else’s hand, but I am referring and I am encouraging you to write . . .  for no one but YOU and GOD.

(CLARIFICATION) —> Sharing in any form to others is needed and not a bad thing . . .  but this post is about writing for YOU and God.  (CLARIFICATION ENDED)

Sometimes we have to learn to be silent to others BUT vocal to the one who created and understands US . . . and this my friend is not always easy to do. Restraining our mouths at times can be a wise, humble and a noble thing to do. (Read Psalms 17:28, Proverbs 10:19 & Psalms 4:4) Sometimes when we talk too much, express to0 much, speak out of emotion too much we do damage, the type that can be detrimental to ourselves.

When you write just to express your own thoughts and feelings, there is a much needed silent release that occurs. When you write just to express your own experiences you get to put things in perspective for you; you ponder and reflect. When you write to express whatever needs to be expressed, you give God “1st access” to you and whatever you express. This access that you give to God is a loud statement to him that you trust him with ALL of you. This access that you give to God lets him know that you do acknowledge him and you are including him in your life. (Read Proverbs 3:6a)

SO . . . .with love and of course with #JOY, I challenge you to write today.

Express. Pour out. Release . . .  and then be silent and wait for God to move, speak and work things out for you.

Today . . . . with love and with #Joy, I challenge you to “BE STILL” and know that “HE ABOVE” is God and will supply all of your needs. (Read Psalms 46:10 & Philippians 4:19)

Write for your freeness. Write for YOU. Write to Him!

Signed with JOY,

JOYFULLY CHRISSY LEE

Slow Suicide

Matthew 5:44 King James Version (KJV)

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

12594047_10100432460897204_2316287621163882725_oThe answer can be found in the picture and the picture is as clear as day. My life consisted of a constant battle of Christina VS Christina. There were some days where  I felt pretty good about “self,” but most days consisted of being my own worst enemy.

One day I was reading the word and fell upon the scripture quoted above. I’ve read the scripture several times, but this one time it hit home. I AM MY OWN ENEMY! I don’t love “self”, I constantly curse “self”, and I definitely persecute “self.”

Self Condemnation was my little black dress and I wore it well. I would look in the mirror and hate my reflection . . . literally. I saw an imperfect vessel. I guess I would say I had atelophobia which is a fear of imperfection and having a feeling of never being good enough. Yep! That was pretty much me in a nutshell.

I was so hard on myself in every aspect of my life. Should of, would of, could of were some of my favorite words. I reflected, meditated on and analyzed every decision in my life, and if you leave it up to me; there wasn’t a good decision that came out of me. I could write a book about my bad decisions. . .  well a couple of books. Coming to Amazon.com near you in late 2017. πŸ™‚ LOL

I would criticize the way I spoke, my voice (and how I slightly stutter when I’m nervous or upset), my height, my looks, the fact that it took me forever to get an Associates and then a Bachelors’ degree. The fact that I don’t have my Masters (yet . . .  wink wink). I would beat myself up for bad financial decisions (I should be a home owner already; as a matter of fact I should own 2 or 3 homes). I definitely made poor choices when it came to relationships (friendships and relationships with men).

Self Hate . . . Self Condemnation is torture and is a slow suicide. Every criticism of self was another stab to my insides. I was “killing myself softly” with words that were very detrimental to me. Instead of speaking life; I was speaking death (Proverbs 18:21) and I was doing so consistently.

I fought the battle of Christina VS Christina for many years until; one day . . .  I made a decision that enough is enough. Tired of swimming in a pool of my own blood; I decided to pick myself up and start speaking life into EVERY ASPECT of my life. I had to realize that I have been created by a famous Artist and I am every bit of a MASTERPIECE.

Once I made the decision, and stuck by it by adopting some accountability sisters and brothers (people who will keep you from going backwards), I started doing okay.

BTW . . .  being an introvert and sucking up some isolation sun was not a good thing for me either. Isolation led to my depression but I will talk about that in another one of my blog’s, at a later time. πŸ˜‰

NOW BACK TO WHERE I WAS  . . .

After I started speaking life into my once enemy . . . I became my biggest lover and self love is the BEST love. I wont sit here and say that at times I don’t go back . . .  Heck I just cried last night after my 2nd FB Live Post because I know within self that I could have done better BUT the difference now vs then is I can see positives. I can say, Christina . . .  you messed that one up but you’ll do better next time because you are excellent in every way. πŸ˜‰

Maybe one of YOU reading this will make a decision TODAY to stop being your own worst enemy. Maybe one of YOU reading this will learn to love self so that you do not have to endure the emotional torture that I put myself through. Maybe some of YOU reading this will just Dare …. Just Dare to start believing that YOU ARE EXCELLENT just the way you are. And MAYBE …. JUST MAYBE  you will remember to LOVE YOURSELF 1st always!

Signed with JOY,

JOYFULLY CHRISSY LEE 

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