Just STOP . . . Please Stop

Beating yourself up about things that have occurred in the past.


Sure, we all have some periods of our life where we are not proud of. Some periods where we really shake our heads and say “___________ (<—-Insert your name) What were you thinking?” Those moments are for the most part okay as long as you don’t dwell there too much and beat yourself up on the “Could of, Should of, Would of walk of shame.”

Replay those periods of life which you are not proud of to learn from them. Replay those moments of life and share with someone who is in need. (pssss . . . btw . . .  use wisdom when sharing and if you don’t feel you are wise, ask God for wisdom …. See James 1:5)

I am a true believer that we don’t go through things in life just for us but for others; that our lives are testimonies for others. There are people in the world that are desperately seeking to know that someone has “been there and done that too.” People connect with other people that they feel like they are relatable to.

Have you ever shared something and had the other person say “You’ve been through that too?” or maybe they have that surprised look on their face that says that but they don’t come out and say it.

Some of you reading this may have a really dark past, but I want you to focus on the word past. Whatever you have done is done, there is no time machine that exist that will take you back in time to undo what has happened . . .  so pull up your big boy/girl pants; accept that it (whatever it may be) has occurred, learn from it and take steps to move on


keep in mind . . . PLEASE keep in mind – that NO ONE . . . . I MEAN NO ONE is perfect or sinless. Don’t believe me?! (Read Romans 3:23)

My hope is that after reading this you are feeling better about your past. My hope is that after reading this you will feel unashamed of where you have been and confident in who you have become. My hope is that one day, you will share something with another in need and that person will receive the breakthrough they need to get them out of their rut.

My HOPE is that after reading this that you will love yourself more, condemn yourself less and see you how God sees you “BEAUTIFUL WITH NO FLAWS “ (Song of Solomon 4:7).

Signed with Joy,


Prayer: Lord, I thank you for my past. I thank you for the lessons learned along the way. I am blessed because of my lessons in life and will be a blessing to others. Thank You for the forgiveness of my sins and for your grace and mercy. I will no longer condemn myself because I know I find freedom in YOU. In Jesus name, AMEN.

My Very 1st True Love . . .

So let it be written

If I never have the opportunity to write again, I would probably go insane.

Writing is my means to everything. It is my freedom in a sometimes not so free world. It is my release when my mind is on overload. It is my expression when I need to express. It is my “common sense” when my spoken words and ideas do not make sense; and as clichΓ© as this next sentence is; Writing is my antidote when I’m debilitated by the struggles of life.

Most of the time, writing keeps me out of trouble….and it allows me to be silent (verbally) on matters while I write, express, analyze and put things in perspective.

There have been several joyous things that have occurred in my life. Not suprisingly, there have also been some grave things that have occurred in my life; but through it all, I would always feel better after putting my thoughts on paper . . .  well better yet on some electronic device (It’s 2016 for heaven’s sake LOL). So I would lovingly encourage you to do the same for no one but YOU.

Everything that occurs to you is not meant for you to share with everyone. Sharing, your thoughts, your experiences, your hurts and pains, your joys and happiness, etc. etc. & etc. gives people access to some parts of you that you very well may not have been ready to share: the parts that may leave you feeling uncovered and vulnerable; and that is okay as long as you share with someone you are fully comfortable being vulnerable around ( for many different reasons that I won’t list right now . . . (subscribe to my blog if you really want to know <—— Yes that was a cheesy plug ).

I’m back in my pensive mood  . . . . FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE READING BELOW.    πŸ™‚

This could also be applied to writing if you are writing and putting your expressions (feelings, thoughts, ideas)  in someone else’s hand, but I am referring and I am encouraging you to write . . .  for no one but YOU and GOD.

(CLARIFICATION) —> Sharing in any form to others is needed and not a bad thing . . .  but this post is about writing for YOU and God.  (CLARIFICATION ENDED)

Sometimes we have to learn to be silent to others BUT vocal to the one who created and understands US . . . and this my friend is not always easy to do. Restraining our mouths at times can be a wise, humble and a noble thing to do. (Read Psalms 17:28, Proverbs 10:19 & Psalms 4:4) Sometimes when we talk too much, express to0 much, speak out of emotion too much we do damage, the type that can be detrimental to ourselves.

When you write just to express your own thoughts and feelings, there is a much needed silent release that occurs. When you write just to express your own experiences you get to put things in perspective for you; you ponder and reflect. When you write to express whatever needs to be expressed, you give God “1st access” to you and whatever you express. This access that you give to God is a loud statement to him that you trust him with ALL of you. This access that you give to God lets him know that you do acknowledge him and you are including him in your life. (Read Proverbs 3:6a)

SO . . . .with love and of course with #JOY, I challenge you to write today.

Express. Pour out. Release . . .  and then be silent and wait for God to move, speak and work things out for you.

Today . . . . with love and with #Joy, I challenge you to “BE STILL” and know that “HE ABOVE” is God and will supply all of your needs. (Read Psalms 46:10 & Philippians 4:19)

Write for your freeness. Write for YOU. Write to Him!

Signed with JOY,


Slow Suicide

Matthew 5:44 King James Version (KJV)

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

12594047_10100432460897204_2316287621163882725_oThe answer can be found in the picture and the picture is as clear as day. My life consisted of a constant battle of Christina VS Christina. There were some days where  I felt pretty good about “self,” but most days consisted of being my own worst enemy.

One day I was reading the word and fell upon the scripture quoted above. I’ve read the scripture several times, but this one time it hit home. I AM MY OWN ENEMY! I don’t love “self”, I constantly curse “self”, and I definitely persecute “self.”

Self Condemnation was my little black dress and I wore it well. I would look in the mirror and hate my reflection . . . literally. I saw an imperfect vessel. I guess I would say I had atelophobia which is a fear of imperfection and having a feeling of never being good enough. Yep! That was pretty much me in a nutshell.

I was so hard on myself in every aspect of my life. Should of, would of, could of were some of my favorite words. I reflected, meditated on and analyzed every decision in my life, and if you leave it up to me; there wasn’t a good decision that came out of me. I could write a book about my bad decisions. . .  well a couple of books. Coming to near you in late 2017. πŸ™‚ LOL

I would criticize the way I spoke, my voice (and how I slightly stutter when I’m nervous or upset), my height, my looks, the fact that it took me forever to get an Associates and then a Bachelors’ degree. The fact that I don’t have my Masters (yet . . .  wink wink). I would beat myself up for bad financial decisions (I should be a home owner already; as a matter of fact I should own 2 or 3 homes). I definitely made poor choices when it came to relationships (friendships and relationships with men).

Self Hate . . . Self Condemnation is torture and is a slow suicide. Every criticism of self was another stab to my insides. I was “killing myself softly” with words that were very detrimental to me. Instead of speaking life; I was speaking death (Proverbs 18:21) and I was doing so consistently.

I fought the battle of Christina VS Christina for many years until; one day . . .  I made a decision that enough is enough. Tired of swimming in a pool of my own blood; I decided to pick myself up and start speaking life into EVERY ASPECT of my life. I had to realize that I have been created by a famous Artist and I am every bit of a MASTERPIECE.

Once I made the decision, and stuck by it by adopting some accountability sisters and brothers (people who will keep you from going backwards), I started doing okay.

BTW . . .  being an introvert and sucking up some isolation sun was not a good thing for me either. Isolation led to my depression but I will talk about that in another one of my blog’s, at a later time. πŸ˜‰


After I started speaking life into my once enemy . . . I became my biggest lover and self love is the BEST love. I wont sit here and say that at times I don’t go back . . .  Heck I just cried last night after my 2nd FB Live Post because I know within self that I could have done better BUT the difference now vs then is I can see positives. I can say, Christina . . .  you messed that one up but you’ll do better next time because you are excellent in every way. πŸ˜‰

Maybe one of YOU reading this will make a decision TODAY to stop being your own worst enemy. Maybe one of YOU reading this will learn to love self so that you do not have to endure the emotional torture that I put myself through. Maybe some of YOU reading this will just Dare …. Just Dare to start believing that YOU ARE EXCELLENT just the way you are. And MAYBE …. JUST MAYBE  you will remember to LOVE YOURSELF 1st always!

Signed with JOY,


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